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May 10th, 2007
04:59 pm - nervous
I'm so nervous tonight I think i just might throw up!
Im running the whole night all alone, my boss wont even be there....
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/sad.gif) worried
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May 3rd, 2007
12:52 pm - The Power of Prayer
Good news:
I do not have cancer! wahoo!!!! I do have a small kidney stone and a tiny benign fluid filled tumor on my kidney. But with a small needle (at least that's what im told... *sigh*) they can drain it and be done with that part. They might blow up the stone and call it good or they may leave it alone. I dont know which yet, but at least it's not cancer.
I do still have ovarian cysts, which are only an issue if they rupture again and when i want to have children I may have to have surgery first to have them removed, but for now all is ok in the world of Karra
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/smile.gif) content
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April 25th, 2007
07:05 pm - Health and well being.
OK so i think Gennie is really the only person I've really talked to about what is going on with my health lately. I'm doing ok now, just still having quite a bit of pain, But im not gunna let it get me down, My life is too busy to slow down.
I started having a really bad and weird pain last week. After a day of ignoring it, I got to the point that I had to see a doctor. He thought it was appendicitis and sent me for lab work. My WBC (white blood cells) count came back normal, which means my appendix hadn't become inflamed or ruptured. Still didn't explain the pain. I was told to rest up and go to ER if I started to get sick or I spiked a fever. I was also told that some other labs were abnormal.
Friday and Saturday I slept a lot and even thought I went to work and Karaoke, I was not myself. Even on sunday a few people asked what was wrong. But I couldn't really talk too much about it without worrying myself.
I prayed so hard to be alright. I was really scared. I still am kind of scared. Jennifer came and prayed with me and I just hugged her. Kelli also prayed for me after running into me in the bathroom. It kind of makes me wonder if the guys also cry and pray in thier bathrooms at the church....
anways.... On monday The pain had lightened, but I got sick, very sick many times. So I went to the hospital. I spend all day there doing multiple tests and more blood work and ultrasounds. My white blood count was still normal, but during the ultrasound the doctor noticed some ovarian cysts. They are normal for a woman my age to have (Wow I feel old typing that) But one or two of them ruptured, causing my pain.
During the ultrasound though, the doctor found something completely unrelated. I have a mass in my left kidney. It's not a kidney stone, it could be something really serious, but we wont know until I get a CT scan that is scheduled for next week. Hopefully by then I will have some answers. I would appreciate all the prayers you could muster.
Current Mood: complacent
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April 20th, 2007
12:12 am - DJ Karra
I have a second job now! I am a part time Karaoke DJ!!! Tonight was my first night and i had a blast. It was great. The guy I work for is going to place me at one of the younger bars so I get a crowd that is into the same stuff I am. I am pretty darn excited. Tonight I DJed at Henry's cantina in clovis. Small, only like ten people in max... but it was still fun.
Current Mood: excited
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March 17th, 2007
01:23 am - Live on 60 minutes, karra....
Questions from Jeremy:
Interview For Karra
1. Who introduced you to karaoke?
My cousin Ella invited me to go hang out one night. Really she just wanted to thank me for taking such a role in Iliza's life. But she felt more comfortable sitting and talking over a beer... but i loved it!
2. What is your natural hair color, cuz uz white, and I have never met a white girl with black hair! Haha.
*ahem* lol My hair is not black! Its super dark brown, naturally. The color it is right now is closest to my natural. Even in my pics of me in high school and as a child, I have super dark hair.
3. Do you feel like there is something in your life that is missing?
Yes and no.... I'm not at a point that I want to be in my life and I feel like that is missing. But I also know that since I am now out of debt, saving money will be easier since I'm living at home and paying only a few hundred a month for rent, rather than 500 a month or more for rent and going back into debt. I also look at my married friends and wish that I too were married... But I know that God has BIG plans for me. So I'm happy with what I have.
4. Who is your favorite singer?
Elton John, hands down.
5. What was life like as a child?
Different. I saw things a different way and I used my imagination a whole lot more. I used to imagine myself anywhere and really feel like I had been there.
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March 7th, 2007
06:55 am - Feeling Better!
I have overcome this illness! LOL
It was very funny. On Sunday I had no voice at all, then on monday, I was speaking normally! Everyone was surprised, Lauren's Whoa face cracked me up most though.
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March 2nd, 2007
09:21 pm - Super sick
I haven't posted on this in a long time. I havent been this sick in an even longer time. I feel so... gross... for lack of any other term that could accurately describe fever, mucous, sneezing, swallowing through whatever tiny hole is left in my swollen throat, headahces and dizziness.... blah
I have type 1 Influenza (maybe the doc called it type A.... I dont remember my brain has been foggy for days) and Strep throat. Yuck. I may not even make it to church on sunday... Im tryin tho. (Fights back with antibiotics!)
I'm too sick for Karaoke too! I have no voice... *sigh*
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/sick.gif) sick
Current Music: none... I'm missing Karaoke even
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December 10th, 2006
09:31 pm - God will Remember...
I know God will remember me. Just like he remembered all of those that he has promised things to. I look forward to having my heart's desires. A loving relationship, a chance to be someone's someone, helpmate, friend, love, and all of the things that would make a wonderful wife. I know that somewhere out there, my husband is being prepared for me as well. I'm working on preparing myself better spiritually, obediently, and physically. (We all know I won't have to work on cooking, I'm beyond prepared there!) I just have to remember that while I'm waiting, I need to keep preparing.
Also I am working on some of my "issues." I'm still finding myself, once in a while filled with grief. Today was one of those days. I am at odds with myself for struggling like I have been. I just don't quite understand the grieving process because I've never really had to do it before. My Aunt was really the closest person to pass away. I'm the kind of person who always likes to understand why I react the way I do. Usually I can figure it out. But with this, I just don't get it. I don't understand why I feel like a battle goes on in my head. My eyes hurt after a while, and today my face felt all swollen. It was awful. I practically threw myself at the alter today in church. I just wept for a while. Hoping to feel that touch. The relief of someone there, feeling your pain. But it didn't come. Not in the physical sense anyways. Seth prayed during the worship set, and it definately felt like he was praying just for me. It was something that I needed to hear.
I've noticed that my whole family is having a hard time getting into any kind of Christmas mood. We are all struggling with how to get through this without my Aunt Yolanda there. It's going to be very hard, I just know it. It's been hard for me and it's only the tenth. I know that one of these days I will just remember good times with my aunt, but for right now, all I can seem to think of is the loss. The fact that she probably won't be waiting for me up in Heaven, and that I didn't get the chance to tell her how much she meant to me.
Current Mood: teary
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December 7th, 2006
10:31 pm - Pick your skin
If you could pick your skin
What color would you be in?
Would you be short or tall
Would you be super thin,
Or be meaty at all
Would your hair be blue, orange or brown
Would you have freckles?
Would you ever frown?
I picked my skin today, I did indeed.
I looked in the mirror and finally agreed.
This is how God made me,
Imperfections and all.
He sees me perfect,
I'll trust his call.
*******************************
I've had major issues in the past about my self-conciousness. I've hated myself and tried to turn myself into the "ideal" girl. But who knows, my idea of ideal and the special someone God has for me, our ideas might be very different..
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November 8th, 2006
05:37 pm - Birthday Blues
OK so last week I started getting excited about my birthday. My family had a party that ended up in a fight between my mom's brother and sister (happens all the time)
Then i had a dream last night that no one so much as called me on my birthday.
When I was sixteen, I had a party and invited like 50 people. Only 4 showed up. I have a sinking feeling that this might happen again. :(
I kinda want to get it over with now
Current Location: Self Pity, currently wallowing
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/shock.gif) anxious
Current Music: happy birthday song (Dirge remix)
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October 25th, 2006
11:43 pm - 1/2
*squee!!!**
Ok im borrowing one of Gennie's words. I got contacts today! I love it. such freedom! it's a bit of pain putting in and taking out, but i will get used to it and then it will be no big deal.
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October 12th, 2006
06:20 am - Ministry
I just got a total blessing. It's a card with a thank you for ministry. I needed that. Really.
I was starting to wonder where my fruit was. I can put out a lot of effort and wear myself out pretty thin sometimes. It's like taking one of those butter cubes and spreading it on as many loaves of bread as possible. Sometimes I'm just scraping the very last bit of me for something else. Sometimes I need to say no, and have a little me time.
I think that's what is so appealing to me about Karaoke. For a brief few minutes, I'm the most talented, beautiful, amazing person in the room. And I know just what that is.... Me, wanting to be important. Me wanting to be the center of attention.
But I was starting to feel worthless, especially with Saturday morning group. I didn't go last week because of a ren faire, but the week before, I just didn't feel like being dissapointed. *sigh* But if I dont put out the effort, how will I ever know.
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October 6th, 2006
10:04 pm - rough times
Im havin issues. Grieving seems to start again at the most inopportune times... Pray for me if ya could.
Current Mood: Re-Grieving
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September 24th, 2006
01:58 am - Karraoke
Heheh what a great night!
I had so much fun, Seth, jeremy, you missed out. Gennie and I went to the bowling lounge for karaoke. First I sang Fever, by peggy lee. That was fun. I had a few guys pretending to wave thier faces from bein too hot. LOL. Then me and my cousin Sarah sang Believe by Cher, I personally hate that song, but I did it as a tribute to Sarah's mom, who kind of dared/begged me to do it. It went well. Then the DJ came to get me and ask me to sing with him. He said I was great! (I love those kinda compliments, makes me feel like i have a tiny bit of talent...) So we sang anything for love from meatloaf. Small part for me, but I did a few harmonious ooohs and ahhhs and then my part.
(From 1:00 am to 2:00 am, the DJ isnt paid to work. He can leave at one, but he does karaoke extreme and charges $5 per song... Not required, but if you want to sing, or just tip the guy while getting something in return... you can.)
Then someone paid for me to sing again! That's pretty major. He shined his flashlight at me and said that I was told to pick a song, someone paid for my turn. I did cant fight the moonlight, by leanne rimes. I got a standing ovation!!! IT WAS FANTASTIC!!! I got a bunch of people who talked to me on the way out the door complimenting my talent.... HEHEHE Like I needed an ego boost...
Of course now, I have to go to bed, how am i gunna sleep...
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/energetic.gif) hyper
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September 22nd, 2006
06:30 am - Karaoke
Alright all,
Saturday night, 9 pm at sierra lanes lounge. Its inside the bowling alley, to the right when you walk in the door. It's loads of fun.
Call me and let me know if ya want to go, Ill prob call with invites too.
Current Mood: Chipper
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September 18th, 2006
10:28 pm - Friendship
OK, So I dont post on here regularly. But I still have a phone and you have my number. When you see me at church, Im always busy. Because God has told me to be that way. When I dont call you, You get angry. But yet I dont get mad if you dont call me.
*sigh*
This is a meme
1. How did we meet?
2. Are we friends?
3. How do you see me?
4. What do you think I do well?
5. Am I fun to be with?
6. What annoys me?
7. What makes me happy?
8. What is my dream job?
9. Where is my favorite place?
10. When is my birthday?
**I cut the rest, kind of annoying and didnt flow. Neither does #10, but I couldnt leave it at #9, lol
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/thinking.gif) contemplative
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September 12th, 2006
06:50 am - Discontent
I could use a little prayer, if you feel like adding me to your list.
Im a little discontent. And im continually wondering if God's timing could be sped up a little.... Im sure you all know what I mean. I also find myself thinking that Im not doing enough to help God. (I keep forgetting, God doesnt need my help, I need His.)
A little added prayer would be great! Thanks!
Current Mood: discontent
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August 18th, 2006
07:17 am - Crazy in love!
I had forgotten how easy it is to fall in love. It really is. You find yourself spending time with someone, more than anyone else. You think about him all the time. And his arms are wide open to you. More so than you think.
I love spending my time and my thoughts on him. Just knowing that he loves me, brings me all the joy I need. My heart was full even before I realized that I was truly in love. It's amazing.
Falling in love with Jesus, really loving him, changes who you are. I hope my changes are obvious.
<3 Karra
Current Mood: In love!
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August 16th, 2006
06:38 am - Stitched Together
I'm the proud leader of a new small group! (Gasp, I'm scared!!!)
My new small group is going to be starting September second and will be every saturday until the harvest festival. After that, it will be every other saturday.
We will be doing a study of God's word, ministry time, and also, sewing. I'm still prayin major that it all comes togther just right. I'm looking for a good book to use... EEEK!
Plus i want to keep up with all the groups that im in right now.
1: Tuesday night Youth group
2: Thursday Morning, Andy's house
3: Thursday night study on Job
4: Friday night Gospel of John
5: Sat Morning Sewing Group
6: The rock, every other month, sunday mornings.
(So if you want to see me again someday.... the best bet is to join a group, or catch me on an off night)
Current Mood: anxious
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August 14th, 2006
09:20 pm - Scottish!
OK, so TECHNICALLY, I have so little scottish in me, that I shouldn't even be allowed to know what a tartan is, much less sew one up int a skirt like im gunna.
I'm so excited! I found my family's tartan in yet you guessed it COTTON!!!!
While you scratch your head and wonder why this is so great, let me explain. I am allergic to wool. I get itchy hives, rash in my face, neck and arms, and feverish when I am around wool. All of the tartans that I have seen to this date are.... wool.
So my grave dissapointment, led me to purchase a good amount of dark blue material to make a dark blue dress for the scottish festival (and harvest festival) this year. (My family's tartan is primarily a blue and green plaid) So I had an idea to make a blue dress and vest and use a green sash in place of my family colors. But instead, I found it!!! ON EBAY! man, the inventor of ebay is a genious.
Current Mood: accomplished
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tolerin's journal